Letters to Iwo Jima

2007-12-07T13:19:37Z

Hey! You! Army boy!

Yeah, you there, with the over-inflated sense of self that spontaneously erupted with the addition of "Manager" to your title.

A piece of advice, blockhead:

There comes a time when public humiliation and sarcasm becomes a loathsome practice in correcting people. That time, contrary to what you've apparently learned or otherwise been told, is immediately prior to your discharge.

This crew that you've inherited -- by some random act of fate's sense of supremely twisted humour, or our bad luck -- is not a bunch of soldiers.

No, you're not funny.

No, the rest of the crew does not think it's endearing.

No, I still do not think it's appropriate that, just because I chewed your ass royally for doing it to me once and you no longer target me that way, you still treat others on this crew in this manner.

Grow up. You should've been a Marine.

Because I can't help myself....

2007-12-06T16:43:26Z

...and I almost peed a little.

Lipsmackin' Thirstquenchin' Acetastin' Motivatin' Goodbuzzin' Cooltalkin' Highwalkin' Fastlivin' Evergivin' Coolfizzin' Greinayes.

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greinayes @ 2007-12-06T11:06:00

2007-12-06T16:36:03Z

As my first post, I find it most appropriate at the moment to introduce myself with utmost humility with the best apology I can muster, which deserves to be public due to the nature of the crime. For those unaware of the grievance, I'll provide a brief background that brought the need for atonement to light:

I have a roommate.

That in itself isn't cause for any distress, obviously, nor does it require any public recantation in and of itself. People have roommates....they tend to make bills less of an obstacle. He moved in shortly after I bought this, my first house, since he needed to find new digs and I was interested in abating the difference between mortgage and rent. Let's call him C.

The issue here, is that over the last 6 months of living with said roommate, I've identified a trend of magnifying import in my personal life involving C. It began playfully enough, innocuous even....silly little contradictions here and there. An occasional jib. Harmless, amusing.

Little did I know how much the habit would take over, and how irritating it would get.

No joke.

Over the course of this last week, I've literally barked at him about his argumentative nature no less than three times, and displayed what any cognizant, sentient being would've recognised as massive discontent with the situation more times than I can count.

Him: Do you want a drink?
Me: No thank you, I'll just have a water.
Him: Well, technically, water is a drink.

Of course, now that I'm spouting off at the mouth about it, specifics are elusive. The fact remains that it's a constant, and my patience wears more and more thin each time. While I might not be able to remember at 11 in the morning at the office, each time a "correction" spews from his maw I remember every one before that....

That would be the direct impetus for the apology.

My best friend,

lucifyr, was kind enough to let me live with him and The Ball for basically a year as a guest when I was hard up, and then for nearly two years as an actual, rent-paying roommate. I adore him, he tolerates me amazingly well. Now might be an appropriate time to also out myself as the infamous "cheesehead" in his posts...but that's an altogether different thing.

To effectively cut for length, suffice it to say that I'd occasionally pick at him for being an argumentative bitch. Anyone who knows him can attest to the fact that even he says he always needs to be right.

Oh, how wrong. How very mistaken I was.

lucifyr, I've learned from my erring ways....and completely retract all the times I hurled that particular epithet in your direction.

....

....

...well, most of them, anyway.

Cheesehead

Letters to Iwo Jima

Because I can't help myself....

greinayes @ 2007-12-06T11:06:00